Small Children

For the most part, I hate children. I get that they can do cute
things sometimes but for the most part they are greedy, selfish,
whiney and annoying. This may sound like quite a harsh way
to talk about kids and I think my way of thinking about them
comes from an inability for my mind to separate children from
grown humans. If you have the same standards for children
that you have for everyone else then children will seem very
attention seeking and very, very stupid. I am also scared to talk to
them because I think that they, like adults, are always judging
me. I'm too worried that I am being condescending when talking
to children and feel stupid using a baby voice. Which is stupid,
because children are the reason that condescension was invented.   
A friend brought her young niece and nephew around to our
house the other day and the little boy decided to point at and
name everything in the room. All I could think while he was
doing this was 'am I supposed to be impressed?' and 'if you were
an adult, I would think you were a dick'. When a dog does a cool
trick I am impressed because I have standards based on dogs but
for children I can't help but compare them to grown humans. But
they aren't humans. They are small, strange sub-humans.
I like dogs better than children.