This is Mr. Barkinfresh

Mr. Barkinfresh is a anthropomorphic dog that I created for
a intermediate school project in 2002. In retrospect, his name
sounds like it should be a brand of dog toothpaste.

Comparative Poetry

Madeleine, our love is good, like a flower is good
I like you more than I like Tegal char-grilled breast fillets
You have a good face, like a bear
Eamonn, I like you more than I like the off-brand Rashuns called Cheezy Aliens
Daniela, I want to see you, like I want to see through walls
You are better than a bloody good pooch
Elsie, our friendship is nice, like Ms. Honey from Matilda
You are a better friend than my old friend Tyler Robinson from Cobham Intermediate
Alex, I would choose you existing over the swimming cap being invented if I had to

Argument Tactic #26 "It's just that..."

As we all know, all conversations are competitions and to

win, you need to know all the moves. Today's tactic is one

that is used regularly by a lot of people. It will allow one to 

turn an isolated argument into something broad and unrelated 

to inspire pity in the other person.

Example:

Person 1: I don't want to mow the lawns

Person 2: But you said you would and I did it last time

Person 1: Pause

               (looks down and takes in a deep breath)

               It's just that... 

               Pause

               you know, with what happened with Grandma

               and everything, things have been really tough,

               and I just really don't feel like mowing the lawns

Person 2: Oh of course. Fair enough. You just sit down

               and don't worry yourself. Here, have a Popsicle 

               Slushy

Also try it in intellectual arguments:

Person 1: Stupid Palestine. Woop, Israel

Person 2: Well the Israeli government keeps driving Palestinians

               off their land while not recognizing Palestine as a state.

               It's a very complex situation.

Person 1: Pause

               (Extremely serious expression)

               It's just that...

               Pause

               the Holocaust and everything...

Person 2: Oh, I guess you have a point, the Holocaust was bad.

               Do you want to have the rest of my Popsicle Slushy?

Now you might think this is emotionally manipulative but the world

of social interaction is a jungle and you need to be prepared.

Dr Dre Rap (edited)

I moved out of the hood for good, you blame me?
Friends aim mainly at friends they can't be.
But friends can't hit friends they can't see.
I'm out of sight, now I'm out of they dang reach.
How would you feel if friends wanted you killed?
You'd probably move to a new house on a new hill.
And choose a new spot if friends wanted you shot,
I ain't a thug, how much Tupac in you, you got
I ain't no bitch neither.
It's either my life or your life,
And I ain't leaving, I like breathing.
Friend we can go round for round,
Clip for clip, shit, fo'-pound for pound.
Friend if you really want to take it there we can,
Just remember that you fucking with a family man.
I got a lot more to lose than you, remember that,
When you wanna come and fill these shoes.

Campaign Trail

After reading a lot about something I tend to relate it to my real life
a lot. Currently I am doing a research essay which is partly about the
campaign for the 1986 Homosexual Reform Bill. This made me
think about flat politics.

I live in a democratic flat where the current issue is about cleaning
reform. The issue being that we currently hand wash dishes, yet
we have a dishwasher. Eamonn Marra saw the need for change
and so introduced the bill with an impassioned but concise
speech where he made such points as 'hey, do you guys think
we should start using the dishwasher?' and no other points. From
my field research, the voting is split as follows:

-Eamonn Marra (radical equalist) for
-Madeleine Ashton-Martyn (cyber-liberal) for
-Jonathon Edwards (handsome protagonist) for
-Meredith Harris (social progressive/sanitation traditionalist) against
-Hannah Strom (relentless idealist) against
-Alice Connolly (poetic pacifist) unknown/ possible swing vote
-Kupe (cat) extremely indifferent

If put to an election I think that Alice, regardless of position, could
be bought off with some chocolate covered pretzels. When it comes
to washing up, Connolly is willing to get her hands dirty. However,
the main problem with the pro-reform campaign is their 'I don't really
care that much' attitude. If I've learned anything from my research
essay it's that the best way to rally support for a bill is to frame the opposition
in a bad light. This is why I will now refer to their position as pro-chores.
It is hard to predict how the outcome of this campaign but I think that
everyone will probably forget about it. Another lost liberal cause.

Cards #2

I think this deck is rigged.

Cards

The arts student argument starter deck.

From the lovely people at Microsoft Paint