Zen (Jono found out there was a camera on his computer)

Has the weight of the world got you down? Has the bitching and
bickering of mean-spirited people left you stressed? Well we have
exactly the right thing for you. Today we will show you how to
create your own zen space in the corner of your room where you
will experience a cathartic release of all stress and anger.

Step 1. You will a medium sized desk and a laptop containing
your favorite music

Step 2. Ceramic cowboy ornament (essential).

Hank the Cowboy will provide a real feeling of comfort to
your zen area. Hank is the best-friend figure who is ever-loyal
and never-judging. Your calm and collected friend will snipe
stress from a distance leaving it squirming on the ground, begging
for mercy.

Step 3. A ceramic eagle filled with whiskey.

Like the big brother you never had, this eagle watches out
like a hawk for thoughts that might plague you. The whiskey-
eagle is wise and logical and it's eyes say "None of these problems
really matter in the scheme of things". It also has the bonus of being
filled with delicious whiskey for when you need just a little extra
help to reach that perfect level of calm.

By following these steps you will create a comfortable place
for yourself where you can go to be calm no matter how
stressed you feel in the real word. Your zen area will also
temporarily rid you of: depression, anger, irritability,
disillusionment with the world, grumpiness, sadness, angst
and broken-heartedness. But don't take our word for it,
Just look at this content customer:

Soap

Reasons not to drop the soap in the shower of a male prison:

• Someone could slip on it and hurt themselves
• It could fall on your toe which could be painful
• Someone might put their penis in your butt
• It might get gross hairs stuck to it

Sincerity Allergy

I'm a big fan of replacing sincerity with a healthy dose
of dry irony whenever possible. Sharing feelings with
anyone but my closest friends brings on a kind of
sickness only usually felt when witnessing casual nudity
(people should only be naked for sex and showers).
Lately, however, I have been occasionally feeling a
kind of David Kline-esque appreciation for beautiful
things. My natural instinct is to bludgeon these kinds
of thoughts to death with a hammer but there is just
something about the view from my new flat at night.
I'm sure these feelings will pass and i'll be back to
saying 'totes' in no time. I think I will really like it here.