Love Letter to Taylor Swift

Dear Taylor,

I have watched some of your videos on the internet and think you are very
pretty. Because of this, I think we should get married. I have a girlfriend
but she has always supported me in my endeavors in the past so I don't see
why this should be any different. She was angry at one of your lyrics the
other day but I defended you. She doesn't really understand your values
like I do. I think we should get a ranch somewhere outside of Nashville
because it seems like a cool place with great music. We can get some horses
and jam once I get my banjo back off my friend. I really like country music
but usually stuff that's less poppy than yours. As far as pop music goes though,
yours is ok. Some of my friends might not like you at first because you wear a
purity ring and they like to have lots of sex but they will learn to understand that
sexual liberation isn't for everyone. You seem to be pretty religious and i'm not
but that's cool, i'm sure we can make it work. I'm not really sure about my
spiritual beliefs but I think most of Jesus' messages were pretty good although
some don't really translate into the 21st century. Also, for the most part I think
your religious image is more of a marketing scheme and I don't mind because
in pop music that kind of thing is inevitable. I like your image a lot more than
people like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. I think they are stupid. From your songs
it seems like you like to stand up for the oppressed which is really cool. Like
that one where that guy is going out with the crappy cheerleader instead of the
nerdy girl. We don't really have cheerleaders in New Zealand but they seem
crappy. We have jocks and they are crappy. Or that song 'Mean' where you
say that people shouldn't be mean. That's cool. I don't like people who are mean.
So yeah, I hope we can meet up soon because I think we would be really great
for each other. I'm probably not as good looking as whatever Jonas brother you
went out with but i'm probably cooler because they seem like dicks. It'd be great
if you could come over here because you could probably afford the travel costs
more than I could. Hope to hear from you soon.

Love,
Jonathon Edwards