Infomercials

I am leasing this post as an advertising space

• Is thinking too much getting you down? Is talking about your true feelings only making everything worse? Well TRY 'bottling your emotions'. By bottling your emotions deep down inside you, you can get rid of those pesky feelings of inadequacy by pretending they don't exist. BAM and the feelings are gone, making you a blank shell of your former self. You can bottle your emotions for weekly payments of just pretending everything is ok.
• Do you feel that your life is leading nowhere? Are you not where you want to be? Then you should TRY distracting yourself with forms of mindless entertainment. By watching tv shows or videos on youtube you can forget about how you haven't taken full advantage of life opportunities. Videos of funny cats can make you forget about your mediocre existence! Distracting yourself could be in your life right now by taking a deep breath, swallowing, then downloading a movie.  
• Tired of feeling guilty about buying products that are unethical? Do you pull up people for racist and sexist slurs but listen Odd Future? Then TRY 'justifying it to yourself'. By justifying it to yourself you can can eat all the meat you want while listening to your favorite explicit rap music. Make yourself feel better with phrases like "it doesn't matter if I buy this or not, a difference can only be made through systematic change which happens collectively" and "I can listen to this ironically, realising the prejudice that exists in the lyrics, acknowledging that this is a product of the environment that these artists grew up in". Justifying it to yourself could be yours in three easy payments of swallowing your values.