Stream of Consciousness

Everything is the worst. I found a great tennis court today. Also walked through some amazing forest tracks. Taylor Swift never replied to my email. Today I drank something that I thought was whiskey but it wasn't. I think it was poison. I don't like Wellington central city that much. I'm really behind on uni work. That was some really good blue cheese. Everything hurts. I probably have cholera. I keep writing songs but then throwing the piece of paper out. I'm don't have many close friends in Wellington. This whiskey definitely needs some ginger ale. I want to sleep on the couch but Netta is sleeping on the couch. You are allowed to write anything on your blog right? Oh jesus, is that a weta? I'm not going near it. There are definitely mice in the roof. They sound to big to be mice, probably racoons. I want to listen to the Beach Boys. I want to listen to Bright Eyes The Beatles are underrated. Yeah I know they are one of the most critically acclaimed bands of all time but whatever. Hello fridge.

Going to be Great

There is something about walking home at night feeling sick, eating KFC, to finish off a seminar presentation that is due the next day that really makes you think about how you are living your life. I turned 21 yesterday and I wont let myself have a quarter life crisis. Instead i'll be great. I'm going to eat way healthier, get on top of uni work, and fit in as many things as I can into my days. This is some real Tony Robbins shit here. I decided a week ago that i'm going to do the Wellington half-marathon because if I do that i'll be great. I'll be all like: 'I can run really far'. I'll also read more, write songs and generally do more creative things and become pretty much the best person you've ever met. I might also buy some new pants. No I wont

No Imagination

Sometimes when I am walking around I imagine I am
on a tennis court and swing my arms around like I am playing
tennis which is pretty embarrassing/annoying for anyone
walking with me. I don't think I do this because I am really
obsessed with tennis (although I am), I do it because it
fills the void that was created when I stopped imagining I
was on another planet/in a jungle/secret-cave-base fighting
alien creatures/evil robot soldiers/Micheal Phillips (a guy from
my school who was massive jerk but Laura Wells still liked
him because he was good at swimming or something stupid
so I would imagine that he went crazy and murdered everyone
and I was defending their honor). I played these kind of
games way past the age where it is appropriate to play these
kinds of games. Fighting creatures was eventually replaced
with pretending I was in a famous band which was replaced
by tennis (although I have been known to still play
air-instruments from time to time).
      Today I walked through the beautiful forest behind our
house which in the past would have been the perfect
inspiration for my young mind to think of evil creatures that
needed to be killed. I thought, 'why not' and tried to picture
myself doing some kind of magic-fighty thing with some kind
magic-fighty creature. It didn't really work. I couldn't really
think of anything. It wasn't very fun. Growing up sucks

Enough About Me

I haven't really had much to say recently so why don't you
tell me about YOUR feelings?

Zen (Jono found out there was a camera on his computer)

Has the weight of the world got you down? Has the bitching and
bickering of mean-spirited people left you stressed? Well we have
exactly the right thing for you. Today we will show you how to
create your own zen space in the corner of your room where you
will experience a cathartic release of all stress and anger.

Step 1. You will a medium sized desk and a laptop containing
your favorite music

Step 2. Ceramic cowboy ornament (essential).

Hank the Cowboy will provide a real feeling of comfort to
your zen area. Hank is the best-friend figure who is ever-loyal
and never-judging. Your calm and collected friend will snipe
stress from a distance leaving it squirming on the ground, begging
for mercy.

Step 3. A ceramic eagle filled with whiskey.

Like the big brother you never had, this eagle watches out
like a hawk for thoughts that might plague you. The whiskey-
eagle is wise and logical and it's eyes say "None of these problems
really matter in the scheme of things". It also has the bonus of being
filled with delicious whiskey for when you need just a little extra
help to reach that perfect level of calm.

By following these steps you will create a comfortable place
for yourself where you can go to be calm no matter how
stressed you feel in the real word. Your zen area will also
temporarily rid you of: depression, anger, irritability,
disillusionment with the world, grumpiness, sadness, angst
and broken-heartedness. But don't take our word for it,
Just look at this content customer:

Soap

Reasons not to drop the soap in the shower of a male prison:

• Someone could slip on it and hurt themselves
• It could fall on your toe which could be painful
• Someone might put their penis in your butt
• It might get gross hairs stuck to it

Sincerity Allergy

I'm a big fan of replacing sincerity with a healthy dose
of dry irony whenever possible. Sharing feelings with
anyone but my closest friends brings on a kind of
sickness only usually felt when witnessing casual nudity
(people should only be naked for sex and showers).
Lately, however, I have been occasionally feeling a
kind of David Kline-esque appreciation for beautiful
things. My natural instinct is to bludgeon these kinds
of thoughts to death with a hammer but there is just
something about the view from my new flat at night.
I'm sure these feelings will pass and i'll be back to
saying 'totes' in no time. I think I will really like it here.